Guest Spots

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Guest spots are the best spots.
This was a fun show. I’ve been a little late on posting stuff but life has been ‘strange’ to say the least.

More updates coming soon.

KC

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Good Vibrations Makes the Scene at Catalyst Con — Good Vibes

Earlier this month, Educator Andy and Staff Sexologist Carol Queen traveled to LA to represent Good Vibrations at Catalyst, a sexuality conference that gathers educators, academics, bloggers, activists and others to share perspectives in… 14 more words

via Good Vibrations Makes the Scene at Catalyst Con — Good Vibes

Con Drop and Black Girl Magic

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CatalystCon ended on Sunday and I’m having the worst con drop that I’ve ever felt. What’s con drop? Well, it a sudden feeling of being down or depressed after attending a conference. At the last CatalystCon, I didn’t have a chance to feel it. I had to rush off to North Hollywood to do lighting tech for a show that ran until the early morning hours but this year the drop feels more harsh because I know these people I respect and love so much I won’t see all together again until 2020.

It was just four years ago that I got a chance to perform at CatalystCon. My Howard University Brother, Mo Beasely had created a show called UrbanErotika that he did in New York and asked me to perform at a pre-show event before the conference in 2014. He knew I did stand up but he hadn’t seen me perform live. I knew about CatalystCon from a few podcast that I listened to so getting chance to do this was a perfect opportunity for me. Little did I know this one performance would help me focus the direction of my stand up in ways I couldn’t imagine.

I deal with relationships and sex a lot in my act but through the guise of a guy who is just trying to figure things out to make his currently relationship better (aren’t we all). However, what this performance allowed me to do was to tap into the dark side of things. I didn’t have to pull my punches. I could tell constructed bits about compersion and get into the intimate details of the male mind with no constraints. It was a short yet powerful set that got me invited to perform at the UrbanErotika show during the conference and that started a trajectory that had me speaking at the keynote address at this year’s CatalystCon.

To say I was surprised to be asked to be on an opening panel with some of the most respected sex educators in the world would be an understatement. Hell, I’m just a comic. I make people laugh. What right do I have to be on stage with Dr. Carol Queen, Constance Penley, Allison Moon, and Meg Vallee?

Opening Keynote

Apparently, a lot because once the panel started I felt right at home. I felt what I had to say had value and for someone who has given safe spaces for my LBGTQIA and POC students to create, I felt like I belonged on that stage as things went along. I never really thought about what I do as activism. A lot of what I do just comes from being a compassionate human being. I’ve had roommates come out to me. I’ve several friends that are transgender. I’ve been a sounding board, and ally, a defender of the rights of others using comedy and emotional connection as my weapons of choice. It wasn’t always that way but as I grew as a person I’ve become more dedicated to that focus. Does it make it harder to write jokes? Not at all. I just more careful with the words that I use to describe things. My intent has always been there. More than anything I’m much more honest with what comes out of my mouth and that honesty can be a powerful. More importantly it’s freeing and it helped me discover the make up of my hardcore fan base.

As a straight dude, in a long term monogamous relationship, whose experience with kink comes from past relationships that used it to spice things up at the start of things or to try to prolong a something that was already of dying, having a queer, kinky, fan base shouldn’t make any sense but for me it’s perfect. They understand where I’m coming from. They respect what I have to say and after years of watching comedians that use sexual identity and gender as the butt of jokes having someone who celebrates who they are is a joy and a relief.

They also understand that what I’m doing isn’t something I’ve crafted through research. It all comes from the heart. They can feel it when I’m on stage. They sense it when I’m walking through the convention on the days that I’m not performing and when I’m speaking on a panel, they show up to hear what I have to say. Last year I created and moderated a panel on comedy and sexual identity. This year I was on a panel on using humor in sex education. Each year I get more involved and I leave feeling energized  knowing I can do more, a lot more, to make this world a better place with what I do.

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I was excited for this year’s conference to start despite the fact that my personal life is kind of in flux right now. It started of by co-hosting Sex Ed. A Go Go, with Lola and Zyra Lee Vanity. The next night I was on the opening keynote, the day after I did the panel on using humor in sex education as well as I performed with UrbanErotika. Sunday I got a chance to see panel discussions on writing and body positivity and then there was the closing keynote address filled with Black Girl Magic.

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For those of you who have little to no experience in the sex positive world, having a closing keynote panel that consists of three black women discussing inclusivity in sex positive spaces is rare. Hell, with most sex positive conference you’d be hard pressed to find people of color anywhere. With CatalystCon that’s never been the case. Dee Dennis has created a conference that strives to be inclusive. She listens to her attendees, takes notes, and strives to improve this conference each year. She deals with the highs and the lows, the praise and the bullshit, the helpers and the trouble makers and she does it with grace and style. She’s done it so well that several organizers have taken what she’s done and made a failed attempt to create it somewhere else without the diversity. They see what’s on the surface but they don’t get a chance to see the machine that makes things work.

Four years ago, I kinda sorta knew who Dee Dennis was. Now, she’s one of my most trusted friends. I would do anything in my power to help her in any way I can because little does she know that she helped define my comedic identity. The concept of The Curious Ken Cosby was solidified at CatalystCon three years ago. The creation of almost all of my jokes and stories starts with a “what if”. Even if it’s not presented that way but during that show, each time I got on stage that was my driving force. Most of the time I’m flying without a net. I’m improvising through topics that are floating around in my head as I have my phone timer set in my pocket to vibrate when I have two minutes left on stage to wrap things up. It’s one of the things I love best about performing with UrbanErotika. I have to adjust to the situation at hand and trust in my ability to get it done no matter what.

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The same can be said about Jessica Drake. Four years ago, I was just a comic on stage that knew enough about her work to construct a powerful joke about enjoying her educational series of movies with Wicked Picture. Now, she’s a friend whose activism inspires me to continue to push forward. Jimanekia Eborn, Lola and Zyra Lee Vanity, the three women who presented the closing keynote address, have become life long friends and colleagues that I honor and respect so much. Spending time with people I know care about me like Andy Duran, Alexis Wilson, Dr. Frenchie Davis, Cathy Vartuli and meeting new friends like Erin Tillman. Each year brings new knowledge, forward thought through acceptance and accountability.

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It’s an emotional ride that I look towards every year but this time I’m going to have to wait a little bit longer. There won’t be another CataylstCon until 2020 and as much as that feels like forever, it’s up to me to take all of the information I’ve obtained during the past four years I’ve been actively a member of the CatalystCon crew and spread that knowledge out to the world through my comedy.

I have to continue to do my part. Comedy as activism isn’t something new for me but each year I understand how powerful it can be. I will continue on this path until the next conference comes along. It’s a duty to myself that I have to keep on my vision board because when we get together to do our work for an group of people that are hungry to learn, it can only help the world at large.

I’m going to miss everybody but in this age they are only a DM away. I have to remember that. It’s about he family we’ve created. It’s about supporting each other despite the distance and knowing the things that we share during the conference are meant to spark a change. These are the people who’ve helped focus my view, given me the strength to stay on point, and continue to make that change in people’s lives one joke at a time.

I love these people and waiting for a year might seem like a long time but I have memories that will keep me going. I mean where else but at CatalystCon could you get Joan Price to show you her clitoris in public?

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It’s about that time

After months of letting thins float around in my head, I figured this is as good a time as any to get this thing started. What good is having a website if you don’t do anything with it, right?

Well, I’ve had mine for years as just some static place were people could go to see all the stuff that I wasn’t doing. Okay, I was doing a lot of stuff but I just wasn’t posting anything. It was more of the platform where the information was hosted more than anything else so I’m in the process of making everything work better, to get things smoother, like a Brazilian wax for my mental work flow.

This time, things will be a little different. Maybe… I don’t know. I guess it will be different but then again, it might not be, you know?

However, having a place that you can go to with ease to write out some thoughts that people can instantly judge and makes comments on from the comforts of where ever the heck they are seems to be the right thing to do right now.

All and all, I’m excited this time but I just ate a salad and took a mile long walk listening to some jazz as people walked dogs with artificially dyed ears in my neighborhood.

I’ll hit that topic at another time.

This is just a start. There will be more stuff to come but as far as right now is concerned, here it is.

It should be a fun and disturbing ride.

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This is who I really am.